In this episode, Dr. Dweck and Rachel have a raw and real conversation with Cindy Gallop, founder of MakeLoveNotPorn (MLNP), a social sextech platform designed to promote good sexual behavior and good sexual values. MLNP was launched at TED 2009. Cindy shares how MakeLoveNotPorn birthed from the desire to date younger men and her Ted Talk.

Cindy shares the impact she is seeing from building this online community and platform to educate, share and celebrate real life sex. She is also honest about the challenges of trying to normalize sex in the real world, particulary when it comes to advertising in order to grow. Ultimately, she emphasizes the safe place MLNP is to learn and for reassurance of real world everything.

Watch the Make Love Not Porn Interview

TOPICS COVERED:

• Dr. Dweck highlights the quest to find out what is normal in the sexual world.
• Rachel introduces Cindy Gallop.
• Cindy shares how her love of dating younger men led her into her femtech, sextech business.
• Cindy describes her TedTalk experience and how it translated into MakeLoveNotPorn.
• Dr. Dweck shares how she uses MLNP in her practice.
• Cindy shares the impact she is seeing.
• Dr. Dweck shares today’s hot flash from a recent book she read, A Million Wicked Thoughts.
• Cindy shares expectancies from watching porn vs. real sex like on MLNP.
• Cindy shares how she manages and condones safe sex practices.
• Cindy shares what MLNP’s biggest challenges are.
• Cindy shares about the differences/similarities of videos from different areas around the world.
• Cindy shares what’s next.

QUOTES:

1:06 “There is no normal. It’s what’s normal for you.”

5:19 “I deplore the fact that no one bats an eye at older men with younger women but older women with younger men seem less socially acceptable.”

6:19 “I realized what was happening is when two things converge…for example when hardcore porn online meets our society’s reluctance to talk openly and honestly about sex. When those two things converge, hard core porn becomes sex education and not in a good way.”

7:54 “I felt I had a personal responsibility to take MakeLoveNotPorn forwards.”

8:09 “The issue is not porn. It’s not talking openly about sex.”

10:21 “MakeLoveNotPorn has the ability to change people’s sexual attitudes and behaviors for the better.”

10:45 “I decided to make MakeLoveNotPorn for the global “how to” for anything and everything to do with real world sex.”

11:07 “We are literally educated through demonstration.”

12:24 “MakeLoveNotPorn’s entire goal is to normalize sex in the real world.”

12:40 “If porn is the Hollywood blockbuster of today, what we are doing is the real world documentary.”

13:39 “The biggest question I get is, “What is normal?’”

16:28 “Porn purely and simply is masturbation material.”

16:55 “Social sex videos on MLNP are enourmously reassuring because we celebrate real world everything- real world bodies, real world hair, real world penis size, real world breast size.”

17:34 “Everybody is beautiful when they’re having real world sex.”

18:32 “On MLNP, you see the sex, but you also see the relationships. The two things are indivisible.”

21:17 “Our curators watch every single video, every frame of every video, every single profile, every single post before it is published. There is no self publishing. That is why we are the safest place.”

23:09 “We reassure you that you can try something and have it not work out.”

25:36 “We build a relationship with all of our contributors so we can see what kind of comments they are comfortable with.”

28:39 “One of my biggest frustrations is we can not advertise…which is massively inhibiting our growth.”

30:32 “The pandemic has shared that nothing will ever be the same again…which opens new models for all of us.”

About Cindy Gallop

Cindy Gallop is a graduate of Somerville College, Oxford, whose background is over 30 years in brand-building, marketing and advertising — she started up the US office of ad agency Bartle Bogle Hegarty in New York in 1998 and in 2003 was named Advertising Woman of the Year.

She is the founder and CEO of IfWeRanTheWorld, co-action software launched in beta at TED 2010 and subsequently written up and taught as a Harvard Business School case study, which enables brands to implement the business model of the future — Shared Values + Shared Action = Shared Profit (financial and social).

She is also the founder of MakeLoveNotPorn – ‘Pro-sex. Pro-porn. Pro-knowing the difference’ — a social sextech platform designed to promote good sexual behavior and good sexual values, which she launched at TED 2009, and for which she has just raised $2million to build out MLNP.tv as ‘the Social Sex Revolution’.

As a result of the funding challenges she has encountered, she is raising the world’s first and only sextech fund, AllTheSky Holdings. She acts as board advisor to a number of tech ventures and works as a personal brand/life/executive coach and a consultant on brand and business innovation for companies around the world, describing her consultancy approach as ‘I like to blow shit up. I am the Michael Bay of business.’

Business Insider named her one of 15 Most Important Marketing Strategy Thinkers Today, alongside Malcolm Gladwell and Seth Godin, and cited her as number 33 on their list of 100 Most Influential Tech Women On Twitter, and number one on their list of Top 30 People In Advertising To Follow On Twitter.

Campaign named her number one on their list of Top 10 Trailblazers for both 2016 and 2017 and number two in 2018. She has a reputation as a highly compelling and inspirational speaker at conferences and events around the world on a variety of topics: her talks on the future of advertising and marketing have been tweeted as: ‘The most brilliant speech on the future of advertising ever — not the usual buzzword-laden bullshit’; ‘Watching @cindygallop slice and dice the ad industry status quo like a Ginsu knife. #purewin’; and ‘There must be a DeLorean parked outside, because Cindy Gallop is from the FUTURE!’.

InfluencerCon NYC introduced her as ‘Cindy Gallop is the truth Jack Nicholson told Tom Cruise he couldn’t handle.’

Cindy is an outspoken advocate of diversity and inclusion in advertising, tech and business — she was Jury President at Cannes Lions 2015 for the inaugural Glass Lion awards, proposed by Sheryl Sandberg to celebrate advertising that shatters gender stereotypes in advertising, and in 2017 was turned by digital agency R/GA into a chatbot for Equal Pay Day that helps women ask for a raise — search AskCindyGallop on Facebook and chat to CindyBot on Facebook Messenger.

Cindy recently partnered with AARP on their Disrupt Aging initiative to challenge and change ageism.

Cindy has published ‘Make Love Not Porn: Technology’s Hardcore Impact on Human Behavior’ as one of TED’s line of TEDBooks.